When I studied abroad my junior year of college, they made us go to an orientation to help acclimate everyone to the stresses of becoming immersed in a new culture before we had left the safe confines of the good ol’ US of A. The thing I took away from this day-long session, besides a $250 raffle-won gift card to a travel agency which paid my way to Holland, was a description of the highs and lows that would be experienced at various stages of the time spent abroad. You would feel euphoric as you made your way to a new place, but then after a week that would wear off and you would feel sort of depressed and homesick, but then you’d make friends and feel on a high again. Well, this rollarcoaster-like description was fairly accurate and is probably based on some sort of universal rhythm that applies more or less to everything. Like heart monitors - up and down, up and down - ping ping ping (pretty wild jump, eh?)
Anyway, I expect the bar exam process to be about the same experience. I have had two years worth of friends go through this already and I know to trust that even if I start feeling anxiety or apprehension, it is normal and not indicative of where I’ll be when all is said and done. Well, the heart monitor took a startling pause today and I had to hold my breath while I waited for the momentary flatline to reboot (I’ve met up a couple times this last week with a friend of mine who just recently graduated med school, thus all the heart monitor speak). People are already freaking other people out at the BarBri lectures by telling them their progress on different things, so I’ll refrain from mentioning exactly what triggered my frustration but it had to do with a slight backtrack from my average scores during PMBR and also with falling behind on some of the work.
Instead of having a heart attack, even a minor one, a more rational appraisal of the situation would reveal that despite being told not to run any errands, I have been doing all sorts of things ranging from a doctor’s appointment, to a haircut for graduation, to an eye exam, to paying bills. In the real world, these would be acceptable, but in the world of the bar, the consequences of such acts put my internal ping ping ping on pause. The key is that I realize the impact that taking time in the middle of the day has on my being able to be prepared on the level that I want to be. Overall, I am heading in the right direction - packing lunch, getting these appointments out of the way now as opposed to in the thick of things, not turning on my computer once I’m at the library, still putting in a respectable amount of time.
I’ll get in shape. After all, it is a marathon.
-jd
