Previously Unpublished

I am now a half-lawyer (I think).

-jd

No, not the TV show. In 24 hours, this finals season will be laid to rest. Of course the winners (and losers) will not be announced for approximately 3 months if last year was any indication (though really, this time, I don’t want to be able to flip my computer on the day before New Years to find out I got 3 C’s and a B+). Anyway, “notes for next time” will be released in full soon, however I made one important observation last night: I think the reason my mind wanders when trying to study is because I alway always have candy. I am never not ingesting sugar. I usually reason that it’s something to do and I’ve never thought of myself as someone who gets hyper after drinking Mt. Dew or eating M & M’s. However, it makes total sense, especially since I don’t get hyper physically. Mentally my mind just can’t get down to business, and that would be on top of the normal procrastination that everyone gets. So yes, an epiphany in the library-who would have thought (I wonder if spring recruiters will buy it).

In other news, I decided I wanted to be a U.S. Attorney the other day. Then I spent about two hours writing limericks and drafting subplots to stories I started in high school that never grew up to be novels. Some of them are quite good, I think. So then I decided I wanted to get an MFA (Well, this is not really a new thought). I thought about going downstairs to look up part-time programs that I could do while I’m still in law school-however, that did not seem to be an efficient use of my time. Then I reasoned out how I could have done well in Corporations after all so that maybe I can still be a corporate dynamo for 5-10 years and then use the money to go Wonder Boys and become an English professor who steals the dean’s wife and writes a famous novel. (See, the sugar was running wild).

Also, note to library: it’s way too cold in the Reading Room, the California Room, the Special Materials Room, and the Basement. Basically it is impossible to study when my legs are moving a mile a minute (could also have been the sugar, except I couldn’t feel my toes). Thus today to get one last effective day in, I am wearing sweats under my jeans and double socks. I should not have to dress like I’m going camping in Idyllwild to go study Evidence.

-jd

Next time I post, please forgive any spelling errors or gibberish!

This is quasi-law related.

So Jay Leno does this bit every once in awhile called “Truth in Labeling.” It’s a gag sketch where he claims the government passed a new law saying you have to call ordinary objects by what they really are. These are usually pretty funny and tonight was no exception. (The fact that I was watching the Tonight Show denotes I could not hack closing out the library tonight.) Anyway some of my favorites:

The Nativity Scene: Christmas before the courts got involved. (That’s sort of old, but leads to…)

The Baby Jesus: Holiday Infant. (I thought that was sort of creative and funny.)

Old Spice: Five minutes until closing gift. (I like Old Spice, however, when I wanted to start dating, I stopped using).

Hickory Farms: Worth next to nothing. (This was funny because I was actually thinking about Hickory Farms the other day. My mom gets tons of them as a teacher. It reminds me of Christmas).

Finally, the best one was a Candy Cane: Paris Hilton workout stick. (This is Jay’s saving grace, he’ll actually do a really risque joke like that. Conan, who I normally prefer, seems to shy away from the really edgy stuff like that.)

-jd

Huh, so there’s a Pink Panther movie coming out. I didn’t really watch the show or anything. However, the theme song by the Harry Mancini orchestra is my “trademark” for finishing stuff in law school. Sort of started last year as I was finishing up the memo for law skills, I just sort of began humming the Pink Panther theme. So apologies to those sitting around me during the last 10 minutes or so of Evidence on Friday.

If I happen to think I’m doing really well, I might segue into Star Wars Main theme or the James Bond theme or if things go badly, the Imperial March…just kidding.

So a good friend of mine who goes to a more prestigious law school than me, wrote about the finals process as a 3L and basically gave the perspective that the 2Ls should be thankful to the 3Ls in their respective classes because they are all taking “dives” for us, thus filling out the bottom of the curve just in time for us 2Ls to pad our grades to make a last ditch run for jobs in the spring or even next fall if we have to.

At first, this gave me hope. I thought, “yeah, that sort of makes sense.” Except then I realized that I have been acting like a 3L since I basically finished 1L, with a brief stop in 2L land during summer school. I enjoyed 13 weeks of relative bliss, followed by a much shorter agony period that will wrap itself up with Evidence this Friday. Sure, I wrote for the school paper, did a couple of tournaments, participated (unsuccessfully) in OCI, made some more friends, yet the most important thing was to get pristine grades. Especially after making a gradual progression each period prior to this from the first semester. This time I am afraid I let my extracurriculars get the better of me. In pivotal classes like criminal law, corporations, and evidence, no less. “I see you did quite well in international law, however your grade in corporations was, frankly, subpar.”

Thus, I feel as though I too am taking yet another dive for my classmates. I get the material. I feel as though I could conduct myself at a cocktail party among corporate cliental. I’m pretty sure I could do well at mock trial with the evidence stuff. I imagine I’d ask for a lawyer immediately if I ever was arrested. I could compose an extradition treaty. However, with one shining exception, I do believe I should be writing letters to my classmates (realizing that most of my classes are still only with fellow 2Ls) saying: “Merry Christmas, you’re welcome,” while making a New Years resolution list that says: outline from week one and never have fun again (I didn’t really go out that much-I still have loan proceeds in my bank account and might not have to camp-out at home the whole break.

Yes, I realize it’s law school. I cling to that time last year when I was convinced beyond a doubt that I had failed Criminal Law only to pull it out miraculously with a respectable grade. However, this was supposed to be the time to kick it into overdrive. Even respectable grades fall a bit short in the eyes of employers. I am, after all, nearly halfway done with school and will need a job.

Okay. Back to the Hemingway persona. Grace under pressure. Nothing is conclusive until February or perhaps March when grades come out. No one get alarmed. I’m not hysterical or anything-I don’t care actually because it’s all virtually over at this point, out of my hands. Just pointing out the facts. I was intrigued by the idea of people taking “dives” for other people. However, show me someone who does not feel they are taking a “dive” for the rest of the class and I’ll show you a fake law student.

-jd

Just in case, anyone who feels like perhaps skipping the last 40% of their grade in Evidence, I would be most appreciative. I took the hit for everyone on the last midterm where grades were through the roof for most people!

Took my third final today. It was in Public International Law. It was largely a vocabulary test circa junior year high school, American Studies. I felt right at home until I got to the term rebus sic stantibus. I could not remember this term for the life of me. Turns out it is basically the fundamental change exception for getting out of a treaty obligation. I knew that, just not in its Latin form apparently. However, after all my complaining, I actually walked out of a final feeling that I had answered everything to the best of my ability and in a high quality manner. In the shortest final I have had for a substantive course in law school. My elective came through! Which is good for a number of reasons:

Exhibit A: Crim Pro and Corporations I’m not feeling so swift about. I prepped longer and complained less about those courses over the year and yet seemed to not click during the test. Then the most disjunctive course I have seems to click well in the final.

Exhibit B: I have the results of the Evidence game known as the third midterm from the last week of classes a couple weeks ago. 1. My protest meant nothing as both my chosen answer and my secondary answer were wrong anyway. Ha-She must have had a good laugh. 2. She didn’t seem to notice my attemted humor-come on, I would get a kick out of a little joke like that in the middle of all those exams. I got all my points, but then proceeded to get no partial credit on two later questions that just killed me. Plus with the curve being incredibly high, getting my usual score was not just average this time, but sort of bad. 3. The made up rule thing worked! Well, for partial credit at least. Probably not because I made it up either, but I must have just guessed right. Partially.

So, anyway, under the established cosmic laws that govern law school exams, I can safely conclude that feeling good about international law probably means it will be my worse grade-though I have taken this type of course twice and I did actually do all the readings for the course in the last week. Additionally, I’ll either do surprisingly well on one of the three other mediocre classes or else Ill also do badly in those and will now struggle to find a job in spring OCI and must now reconcile my grades next semester. Oh well, that’s the way it happened last year. I’m always better in the spring.

Finally, my sister calls me about some question on her final today about DNA and ribosomes. I felt right at home. Certainly more than I did fielding questions in Crim Pro or Corporations! Hey, I was good in Bio. I knew I should have been a doctor.

-jd

That’s not true about the doctor thing actually, I didn’t think I was going to be a doctor. I had a great teacher implore me to stay in science and I shunned it for greedy politics and law. Plus, I feel at home in Corporations too, just not on final exams apparently, but then as much as I wish I had walked out of Corp like I did Int’l Law, it just likely means everyone thought the Corp test was hard and everyone probably thought the Int’l Law one was easy. Or who knows, it’s law school.

I’ve added a new category of posts, at least temporarily during finals. It is called Non-Law School Random Funk. It is a throwback to my old blog and well it’s a hallmark of just about every other blog out there to put up miscellaneous surveys. Basically, I don’t have time to properly edit and censor my non-stop stream of consciousness into substantive posts due to other pressing time commitments (I have written over 30 drafts of various posts over the past two weeks, but many are crazy from out in left field and should not be published ever). Moreover, I like the informative surveys. So until I can divert some intelligence back to this project, here is one I got from a friend’s website:

FOUR JOBS YOU’VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Retail Banker (Not to be confused with the much cooler position of Investment Banker)
2. Legal Research Intern for the ABA and the UNDP in DC
3. Computer Infrastructure Setter-Upper
4. Pool Supplies Warehouse Clerk

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. The Graduate
2. Casablanca
3. Chasing Amy
4. Zoolander

FOUR CITIES YOU’VE LIVED IN:
1. Palm Desert
2. San Diego
3. Washington, DC
4. Utrecht, The Netherlands

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Daily Show
2. The West Wing
3. Scrubs
4. Late Night w/ Conan

FOUR PLACES YOU’VE BEEN ON VACATION
1. Greece
2. Spain/Portugal/Nice
3. Michigan (And basically everywhere in between)
4. The Channel Islands

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. NYTimes
2. CNN
3. ESPN
4. Any blog to the right of the screen

FOUR OF YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1. World Famous in PB
2. Las Casuelas in the desert
3. Red Lobster in OB
4. In N Out anywhere

FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. Shrimp Scampi all you can eat
2. Chicken Catchatori
3. Salmon, Salmon, Salmon
4. BBQ Ribs w/ Twice Baked Potatoes

FOUR SCHOOLS YOU’VE ATTENDED
1. Parents Participating Nursery School
2. UCSD
3. University College Utrecht
4. USD School of Law

FOUR PLACES I’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. Normandy
2. Brazil
3. Australia/New Zealand
4. On a spaceship to Alpha Centauri

I would also like to note that a television show that used to make the top four list, SNL was on tonight and its only saving graces were Shakira whose moves are mesmerizing, hypnotic, enchanting (I couldn’t choose just one) and Weekend Update with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I don’t know why I even try with that show anymore. However, the pizza was good (I get a free one next time because they threw my order out) and the company was good and tomorrow back to the library to finish the last 100 pages of reading for the semester. Oh and then finish the outline to match.

-jd

It’s halftime.

I took down the last post because it was crap. I’ll take this one down shortly. It’s really hard to turn around and start studying again right in the aftermath of taking a final. I would complain about having to go two days, skip a day, then another final-however I realize that some people had to do a three-peat or worse. I usually use sports to analogize test taking and taking out women so I won’t stop now. Basically, I think I’ve learned something I have always wondered having to take finals in such a condensed atmosphere: why don’t ball players, especially pitchers turn it around more quickly and come back and start on short rest if their team needs them. Well it’s clear: it is wearing to have to keep at it over and over and still be effective. 42 year old Roger Clemens was supremely impressive this past postseason finishing off an extra-inning game right after a prior start.

Anyway, I took about four hours off to try to relax. Now I have to get going again. Since apparently all I know about corporations is that they are represented by boxes in hypotheticals, and I didn’t manage to write that into my essay like I had planned (thus ending my streak of throwing funny lines into the text, might actually help), I need to “pitch” a stronger game for my final two “starts.” Funny how International Law is suddenly my “strong” class. When did that happen? Maybe the Jessup competition will finally pay off.

In sum: Corporation = Box.

-jd

A week from now I’ll be asleep, or writing short stories to make money to pay off my law school loans. (I came up some killer outlines for a series of four stories that will be abstractly connected in a futuristic, noir, pulp, lost generation way last night; I was supposed to be study the duty of care-it is such an inspirational subject.)

Why is it that all the recent photos of Saddam Hussein on CNN.com have looked like they are stills from an upcoming movie, and not a drama? Some are just downright hilarious, or maybe it’s just finals and that’s why I think Saddam has the facial punctuation of a Broadway actor, especially with that beard.

Speaking of beards, I’ve got my playoff beard in full swing in the grand tradition of winter finals last year. Hey-they do it in baseball and hockey, I’m just trying to show enthusiasm and solidarity for um, my team. The professor noticed during the crim pro review today right before admonishing that we should go to sleep “early, sober, and alone.” At least one night before finals.

I was actually hoping the rugged, dangerous looking stubble would have the opposite effect on the fairer sex-as opposed to my usual shy, boyish charm. Either that or they think I’m unorganized and deplorable. However, I would counter that when you sleep for over six hours any given day during finals, you definately have time to shave-this is all just for show.

-jd

First off, what happened to gmail? It’s not my computer this time! However, half my criminal procedure outline is being held hostage and that is slightly annoying.

Secondly, I’ve become a trashy novel writer. I was minding my own business, working diligently on my corporations outline in the library, when these ideas about a scandalous seat-squirmer start flooding my head. Maybe it was the shadows off the bookcases, or the stress, or my desperate sub-conscious trying to build itself a lifeboat in case I get my first round of truly dirty grades, but I just start outlining a plot and filling in the pertinent scenes as they come to mind.

It was cliche and probably walks a fine border between delectable-artsy and cheesy, fantasy porn. (Think hyper-intellectual English Patient/student-pizza boy delivers to his lonely teaching assistant on a Tuesday night in a library on a compound somewhere in the Middle East). Okay, hopefully not that bad, as I try to maintain some sense of dignity outside the recesses of my mind’s inner sanctum-though I am pretty sure this would be a real sultry page turner for commutes to work on the subway. (It has romance and talks about the desert and lonliness and during the action, not a lot of clothes come off-clearly the distinction between art and porn, Justice Stewart).

The point I think to this dribble (and that dribble), is that despite my best efforts this time around (lots of sleep, food, fluids, vitamins, and advil), I have still managed to sink into some numb and slightly veiled but certainly present state of delirium. It got worse during the crim pro review session when people would ask about stuff and I wanted to laugh because I barely recognized the cases. (I really, really need gmail to start working again). I have never written a bodice-buster before, or even tried to outside perhaps silly love poems to girls in high school who thought I was out of my mind and I probably was. However, like any decent writer, I felt compelled to write down the thoughts as they occured.

Maybe I can throw something in about pharmaceuticals in Africa or property rights in South America to bring it back into the literary stratoshpere after finals. After finals.

-jd

I’m a constitutional law dork. There are few topics in the vast legal sea that interest me more than the framework that binds our country, or any country for that matter. Unfortunately like a career in writing, I don’t really foresee future employment directly in the thick of this field if I want to pursue just about everything else I want to do in life. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t contemplate crazy dilemmas posed by scholars in the trenches. This article by Tony Mauro for the Legal Times is called “Imagining a Doomsday Scenario for the Supreme Court.” It presents some of the most fascinating ideas for problems of succession I have seen since reading Daniel Lazare’s The Frozen Republic-this is where I get my successionist ideas from. Well, that and Ernest Callenbach’s Ecotopia. Well, I guess the last two elections produced some interesting buzz too.

Anyway, the main premise is that the entire Supreme Court is wiped out in a 9-11 type disaster striking DC. Everyone talks about what happens if Congress and the President are taken out during the State of the Union or an Inaguaration. However, no one considers that at least we have quick stop-gaps to restore these branches. We don’t have that for the Supreme Court, the body that might actually be needed to make controversial calls on the decisions made to restore the court itself. Very paradoxical. I had never really thought about it before, and apparently not too many other people have either, but the ramifications are certainly clear and the hypotheticals, while tragic, are highly interesting if you consider con law something of a guilty pleasure.

Also, just imagine the political and stare decisis considerations of one President-possibly picked expediently by a shocked and politically-charged Congress appointing ALL the justices. It is just staggering considering how carefully we vet out justices now to ensure that our careful balances built over decades are maintained.

It’s a cool article, one that really makes you think-food for thought anyway. You know, we need more of that during finals.

-jd