Previously Unpublished

The new issue of the law school monthly is out if anyone not already bored by this blog is so inclined to pick up a copy and lives in the area and wants a further tool for procrastination. Moreover, although I’m highly (See: not really) disappointed my main article was not even used-I can only assume it is being saved for the front page of the next issue-the article that I surveyed for, using this very blog, is included to add extra padding for use as a make-shift umbrella once the weather actually turns to winter here. It’s called “Don’t Throw Up During Finals!!!” I’m actually surprised they kept that title, it was just a working title-but sort of funny since it’s about coping with nerves.

In a mini-review to distract from my shameless self-promotion above (Really, isn’t this whole website shameless self-indulgence? But hopefully at least mildly amusing to at least someone else out there in wireless land), the following blawgs (This is the cool way, apparently, to denote a “blog” has to do with “the law”) are on fire recently with their posts (Warning: procrastination opportunities abound): Barely Legal, California Appellate Review, Anonymous Lawyer, and finally Blonde Justice’s last entry almost almost persuaded me to consider being a public defender. For just a second.

Finally, did anyone know that the computer lab in the law library has a “Batphone” directly linked to Lexus Nexus? Yes, it’s red and it hangs on the wall approximately in the middle next to a white phone for Westlaw. I hit my head on it tonight checking my email. I actually picked it up and talked to the operator. I asked if she knew anything about the duty of loyalty. I think she thought I was complaining about customer service, so I bid her good night. Just kidding, but the phone is really there-though I’d rather email and so would Batman, I’m sure.

-jd

And so ends November and month one of the new blog.

Today as I went to the bookstore to purchase an amazing Corporations review of the statutes that our professor likes to talk about so much, I was followed in by two girls doing their best and loudest Christina Aguilera: one trying to be a deep, super-vibrato soul singer and the other providing backup. I’m sure their hands were on their bellies to brace their diaphragms for the exertion. And for some reason this annoyed me. Maybe it’s because they seemed completely trashed at 3 PM, or were far too happy given the finals season-undergrads, or maybe I secretly wish I was happy-go-lucky enough to sing unabashedly in public or have a drink at 3 PM. Whatever it was, it just struck a nerve. Now don’t get me wrong-singing can be sexy. I imagine every girl sings in the shower, and if I’m listening to it, then that beats outlining any day.

What I’m trying to lead into, to avoid ranting again about the parking debacle created again today by a special event, is a contrast with a great sample of singing. It’s a song I’m hooked on called “Science v. Romance,” by Rilo Kiley (See: Guitar Tabs to the right for lyrics, and if anyone knows an acoustic tab version, I would be highly indebted). Anyway, this is clearly the “theme” song of this finals season for me following such alums as “New Slang,” by the Shins last fall and “Recycled Air,” by the Postal Service last spring. Summer was probably any number of Coldplay songs, though mainly “Fix You,” over the weekend I crammed for the tax final.

So “Science v. Romance,” is just wearing down the repeat function on my iPod. There is something about the lead singer’s voice-Jenny Lewis, which while not like Gwen Stefani’s exactly-it still has that proverbial hook. Then there are the lyrics. Plain words don’t do it justice, so maybe don’t go read them; it’s all about the inflection and timing. I still haven’t quite figured it out for sure, but there are certainly lines in it that draw parallels to finals, though that’s not why I listen to it per se. Some of the lines, if read right, are just downright scandalous, but subtly veiled. It could easily identify relationships figuratively or just the plain literal loneliness of forsaking some things for others. The opening philosophical ponderings are a great tone setter for extrapolating the rest-which is open to interpretation and thus all the more powerful.

So, that’s what’s getting me through round three and a half of law school finals.

-jd

Warning: Now, I don’t listen to these songs while actually outlining. I can’t listen to the lyrics because I get too caught up and start wanting to write fiction or fall in love or fly to the Netherlands. Usually un-melodic and wordless classical, jazz, or recently trance are reserved for actual study. However, I basically have to have something going on in the background and chew gum to paradoxically keep my mind from wandering.

So much to comment on and so little time. Turns out even when I’m in the library and away from internet access, I can still jot down my complaints, philosophies, and idiocies in a word document to cut and paste later. So don’t be alarmed by the abundance of posts-I’m not slacking off at this particular moment. Well yes I am, but I just had a midterm and was on call for the 200th time in a row in int’l law. And I’m pregnant!

That’s right. Straight from the archives of the old blog comes the post from last year, fall semester, that received perhaps the most critical acclaim of all my self-absorbed, confused, and rambling entries.

I’ll set it up: I posted this almost exactly a year ago, the last week of classes. I was pretty damn sure I had screwed up badly despite spending the semester studying quite possibly more than I did in the rest of my life cumulatively up to that point. Every other minute I went from understanding everything to understanding nothing. And then this post was born one cold night in the basement of the law library as the best analogy I could think of. (Foundation: I’m the oldest of six kids-sorry, recycled knowledge-evidence, yeah). Entree:

It’s Happening!

Not to take anything away from pregnant women who I’m sure go through much more prolonged and excruciating pain to deliver something better than a C…I must say that once my body becomes aware of finals (apparently after the cushion of a weekend leaves), then I take on certain similar symptoms.

First of all, mood swings: This is an amazing effect. I can go within a matter of hours to being sure that I will fail and have to drop out or re-take classes in the summer because I’ll miss the issue on an essay completely to being pretty damn smug and certain I’ll be seeing my name posted for law review in February.

Second: The food thing I discussed last night. (I got three double cheeseburgers last night after the post). [Edit: the prior post was a rambling fantasy about basically every type of food that ever sounded good in my life, highlighted by ribs and twice baked potatoes if I remember right. That’s why I mentioned In N’ Out earlier.]

Third: Uncontrollable crying, just kidding (well, we’ll see after next Tuesday).

Fourth: I buy, buy, buy law supplements as if they’ll plug the gaps in the dam that is supposed to be my mind-isn’t note-taking and half a grand on books enough? Well not for a new parent, and not for me (another 30 bucks today on Torts stuff-I hope people on Amazon want this stuff next semester). [Edit: They did and do, thank god].

Fifth: Well, I thought I had more…I’m pretty good on nausea so far…(I guess I’m not pregnant after all).

Epilogue: Well, the morning sickness began to set in until I just became numb to everything. Also sleepless nights and dreaming about deformed children, I mean exams. See, classic symptoms. This time around, as with later pregnancies, come new coping mechanisms and new challenges. The biggest benefit is that, like a parent who has already called the doctor for every flush face-I don’t worry as much on a daily basis about exams. Just for the big stuff like missing whole chunks of readings or notes. (Hey, everyone slips up a little on the later children-they’ve already done it and they’ll never notice-right N, H, J, J, & J?). Of course this is a good day, I’ll say something different tomorrow.

-jd

I was going to write a witty post incorporating lots of stuff from our evidence midterm that we had today, the last day of class. However, to be honest, I can’t remember any of that stuff. I think it was on examining witnesses and privileges. Yes, that’s it! All I remember about the test (because I don’t particularly subscribe to the “rule” about not talking about tests, I really don’t care since there is nothing I can do about it now, but I realize some people like a cooling off period), are two funny observations. No, three.

1. Our testing software is not formated for multiple choice answers and so if you were so inclined, you could transform the question into a short answer. I’m not sure how the professor will react, but I decided to argue one of them as ambiguous-hey, she threw out a question last time.

2. I didn’t know the rule for the last question, so I defaulted to a strategy my friends who took the bar over the summer said that they were taught in BARBRI: I made up a rule of law and applied the fictional rule. We’ll see how that comes off…maybe I was right since I based it on something that was said during class.

3. I reverted back to a technique I think I used probably to my detriment during our first finals last year, I threw in some humor. Well, not a lot just on a question about mothers in law and further, I carried over the pun into my next answer which was about a different scenario. People just take finals so seriously and my reaction to that type of situation is to be sarcastic or point out something funny, wry.

So the grades for this one should be interesting, I’m real curious as to the outcomes of my protest, my fictional rule, and my attempt at comic relief. It just makes finals so much more exciting. See: sarcasm.

-jd

Why the mention of In N’ Out? Well to celebrate not touching evidence again until a week from Monday. They are quite efficient at lunchtime. Also, it’s foreshadowing a popular post from my old blog that will be making a revised debut here soon.

So one of the co-authors of the Berenstain Bears series of childrens books died today.
I remember reading all those books as a little kid. My mom, being a kindergarten (isn’t that a great word?) teacher at the time, had the whole collection. I think I liked them mainly because they got to live in a tree house. It’s interesting that the Berenstains corroborated with Dr. Seuss, the author of one of my favorite books of all time: The Butter Battle Book. I didn’t realize this and now I wonder if there were disguised political messages in the bear books too, a la Mr. Geisel’s? I’m also surprised I missed this since my undergrad campus was Dr. Seuss headquarters with a virtual museum dedicated to him at our symbolic library that also bears his name.

Anyway, the law school tie in? I’m trying to finish my public international law outline. I think the whole course could be taught from The Butter Battle Book, along with negotiations-think tit for tat and game theory. It would be far more interesting. While others thought the Cat in the Hat, Red Fish, Blue Fish or even Green Eggs and Ham were the classics-and surely could have been used as textbooks for torts, civil procedure, and home economics respectively-clearly my future interests in international relations and politics were piqued with this book that lightly disguised the cold war.

-jd

Speaking of the cold war, I cherish (in a strange part-sarcastic, part-sense of history way) memories of fall-out drills in kindergarten and first grade, which we combined with earthquake drills, but it was made clear why we were doing them, “in case we are attacked and we have to go to war.” Looking back, clearly hiding under desks would have done nothing. It works great for law school finals though.

Pow! Crunch Crunch Crunch!!! *Loud fan noice* Zap! *Blue Screen of Death* Dead.

It seems to me that computer malfunction waits for three things:

1. Your subscription to Norton Internet Security, that costs at least three nights out in the beach communities or else two nights out downtown, to expire just as your loan funds are dwindling heading into winter break.

2. Finals to be less than two weeks away.

3. You to go home and plug into your family’s little LAN network in the den and then come back to your own LAN network in law school land.

This happened to me over the summer term and is happening again. Despite the many interesting blog entries ranging from how the mind absorbs information to experiences with Black Friday shopping from a male law student’s perspective, this topic is just burning to be portrayed on the small pixel screen. The computer has been working fine for months-basically since the hard drive failed 5 days before our tax final last August and I was sent a new drive just after the test. That incident was enough to scare me into renewing my Dell warranty at considerable cost now that it is a year after buying the computer.

However, this seems to be a software problem. I cannot access any email from a web based service. I have an email account with each of the big three services (gmail, hotmail, and yahoo) that each serve different purposes and are used in different degrees of frequency. None of them work, although before I started screwing with the settings and reinstalling things, the rest of the internet worked. I worked setting up computer systems for two years as a small side business before law school, now granted it was more of a logistics-hardware gig but I am not completely illiterate when it comes to networking. Well, at one point I thought I had lost everything but my documents which had wisely jettisoned into the iPod for a harrowing escape to Tatooine where they will seek out an old Jedi Master named Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anyway, I am now back to where I started, unable to figure out why the hell I cannot access some things, but I can access others. Fortunately everything else seems to work now that I’ve done numerous system restores. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and it will all be a bad dream. However, since finals are still coming up, somehow I doubt it. Moreover, I hate how stuff always starts to go wrong when you purposely don’t renew the service help. It’s like things are rigged to screw up if you don’t concede to the high priced tech help that probably actually is not helpful at all. If anything, Norton has always made uploading law school exams more difficult. Can you imagine the lawsuit though if people’s computers were purposely being made to implode when they quit getting renewal support to scare them into signing up again?

-jd

(Really, what this comes down to is that I just want to procrastinate more by checking my email every ten minutes-it’s not like people are really emailing me since they are all studying and checking their emails every ten minutes too. It’s a vicious circle, I mean there is no need to write anything. I think we all know the hell that is going on…Isn’t there something in Dante about the people who keep mindlessly doing something over and over that they know will never bring them any fruitation?)

The Parking Rant Haiku:

My car could not park!
Oh dear law school, thanks a lot!
Tuition wasted, gas money too.

I have wanted to write this post all day and tried to think of various ways to make it creative-to somehow set this standard rant apart. I know I am not alone in experiencing problems with parking. Especially if you don’t arrive on campus at 7 AM. I don’t expect a space in the law school parking lot nestled between the law library and the actual school of law. However, I would appreciate being able to park in the structure that is adjacent to the school where I can walk to class with my laptop and books in about ten minutes or less. Normally this is not a problem, except when the school decides to loan out its facilities for conferences.

Today, the school took up approximately 600 spaces (and we are not a big campus, I would imagine there are less than a couple thousand spaces in any near proximity to the east side of campus where the law school is located) for a real estate conference. We received an email alerting us that parking would be “impacted.” It did not mention however, that impacted meant you would not get a parking space at all. I am willing to park in the sports center if I was lazy and tried to catch some extra sleep and thus lose out on the last few law school spaces or the structure spaces. However, today and on other occasions, those too are cordoned off leaving us to either park on the complete other side of campus, park in the community below the school and hike up, or else go home.

We are in finals; everyone is making decent efforts to be in class. A lot of people turned around and went home today. If not for the late date, I would have too-however, I had a meeting on campus after class anyway and so needed to be there regardless and thus sucked it up and parked off campus. I realize the school makes money, but am I really seeing the benefit from that? I think the law school pulls in its own money just in name alone. In fact, I think we should be spared such inconvenience and build a giant parking tower over and under the lot currently between the law school and law library. Decorate it with vines and stuff to make it look nice and then issue special permits just for law students. It could be done over the summer and be ready just in time for my 3L year.

My feelings on this issue are actually a lot stronger than this rather pacific rant might imply, I’m not sure it even counts as a rant, it just seemed like I should temper them on a public forum.

-jd

Forgive me if the above poem has too many or too few syllables, I’m trying to juggle my studying and blogging commitments accordingly.

(Note: This is a veiled “Live from the Library” segment, as most posts will be until mid December).

During the stress of finals, I can understand a lot of wacky happenings. Frolicking in the basement stacks, heavy drinking on a nightly basis, possibly running frantically from a classroom (No, I haven’t seen this happen, but I would pay to). However, I do not understand someone sitting in the public toilet of the law library with his laptop playing some game. Now granted, I realize the alternate argument that makes the game merely a cover for other things you might pursue with a wireless laptop on the john. That ping ping ping might be replaced by something else upon my departure. However, in either event, I am still puzzled. Frankly some of the carols are a lot less conspicuous for certain stress relief activities than the very well-lit and less than air-tight walls of the stalls. Either way, it begs the question: Is the game that good? Are you trying to maximize the happiness quotient of your break? It just really seems to be tactically too much work.

Normally, I could care less what someone else is doing. As long as you aren’t causing me any grief, then great-have at it. However, there are only a limited number of facilities in the law library. Leaving the premises usually cascades into procrastination anarchy. So do your damn business and get out. You are using up a scare resource for no good reason but your own stupid and illogical gratification. Plus, the speculation just sort of disturbs me. Now, if there were a couple in there playing Tetris or something on their study break, then maybe I’d understand-a little. Though really, at least in those bathrooms, I would have to say the novelty of scandalous, quasi-exhibitionist banter should probably be refrained from just for the sake of hygiene.

I’m also glad to finally have a post where I can nicely transition into, and exalt over, possibly my favorite thing about the law library: the second floor men’s bathroom sink on the right hand side. The water that comes out of that facet just by lifting straight up has got to be the perfect temperature for human skin. I have never been to a spa, but like most people, I think I know comfort when I feel it. It seems to sooth while your mind is throbbing. It reminds me of an analogy along the same lines as apple pie. I’ve noticed this since basically this time last year when I first began spending any serious amount of time in the library. And I have no problem washing my hands in public.

-jd

Last night at about 20 minutes before closing time, the distinct smell of BBQ sauce began to waft through the library. Granted I had been outlining for crim pro and international law all day and perhaps all the candy I ate earlier was playing tricks on me. However, whatever the source from delirium to KC Masterpiece, I thought the idea was genious. Start pumping the air vents with the intoxicating smell of summer fun as opposed to late fall finals tension and watch everyone depart toot suit. (Weird term huh? I think it means “right now.” My mom used to bust it out in situations where it was clear something needed to happen yesterday.) Anyway, needless to say I was distracted and could not even finish one more page to complete a chapter.

I also went to the store and got something to grill (Aside: Possibly the best part about the cold, dreary finals/holiday season is that the stores start selling egg nog.)

Signing off,

-jd

Yes, I did actually write this “live from the library.” Yes, it is 9:00 AM on a Sunday. I know.

Not to beat a dead horse, but I am fascinated by the un-masking of Article III Groupie (Underneath Their Robes, see below) for any number of reasons, foremost of which involves the aura of scandal over the loss of anonymity that has surrounded the unveiling from the moment the password protection wall went up. I mean sure, it’s fascinating for anyone who is involved in the legal profession and goes online for the same reasons why James Dean and Marilyn Monroe are so famous: they died in their prime before their mystique could grow old, tired, and boring. However, for bloggers in general the question of how secure your identity is, or even if you should keep it secure must certainly come into play at some point before you hit the “publish” button for the first time. What is the purpose of a blog, if not to expect others to read that blog in an effort to perpetuate the free flow of ideas and information-even if those ideas are narcissistically your own as the site author and moderator.

My sites have always had a wide array of intents, from advocating positions soliciting reactions from anyone in general to describing mundane details of my day in order to elicit responses from a few close friends who I know read the blog. Neither type of blog is particularly protected and while it’s easy sometimes to forget the fact that it is virtually always possible to put two and two together in the online world, I think a lot of bloggers think they are safely injecting their ramblings anonymously underground and out of sight – Until that day you get a mysterious comment which is probably from a professor or else a social interest starts to act strangely around you in a way that might make you think they stumbled onto the slightly masked and certainly less advertised personal blog.

I do little to hide my identity here. I intended to make this particular blog more of an open forum for pondering law school, the legal profession, and occasionally observing miscellaneous occurrences from everyday life. I’m not about to start advertising my name, but a number of people who read this likely know who I am. That’s fine because most of them are friends and classmates so I like to know what they think about my observations of life in law school and hopefully my take is amusing or at least informative-if nothing else then for a feeling of comity which is very important for surviving the rigors of the Socratic life. Moreover, I like to write in general and as David Lat (A3G) himself pointed out, there is a certain desire for recognition for the hands behind the words as it were.

Taken another way, a recent issue of the magazine Scientific American Mind has an article about sizing up people based on first impressions and it postulated how you draw clues about people based on things like their appearance, the posters and sports equipment they might display out in their room, or the state of disarray of their desk at work, and it occurs to me that public blogging sort of does the same thing. Hopefully those who know me don’t think of this effort as any more vain or self-absorbed than anyone who might write a daily opinion column in a newspaper, except that I don’t get paid to do this. Rather, I hope it just presents another dimension of my thoughts since I usually am at least as comfortable writing things out and often would rather spend social time listening and absorbing as opposed to extolling my unorganized first thoughts on others.

Of course there is the other foot. This blog could never truly be unleashed because at this fledgling point in my legal career, I have no idea where I am headed. I don’t presume to be on track to be a nominee or candidate for any sort of position, but I wouldn’t want to limit any options over some careless comment I made because I was too tired to proofread or censor an entry. The very first comment on this blog reminded me that I should never let my guard down. Things are changing with the internet and it will be interesting one day to see a judicial nominee who has a more interesting trail than mere court opinions. I am not the most interesting person, but you really never know who might be reading-I find myself hesitating on this blog when I think to talk about controversial topics that perhaps I’m not fully convinced of myself, am prepared to defend, or that might strike someone such as a future employer or a professor the wrong way.

It takes work to nuance your words accurately, especially if your blog purports to do anything beyond report the facts. Underneath Their Robes did this well, it had a distinct voice, yet upon a full disclosure there must have been some concern over the impression judges might have of Mr. Lat should he appear before them in the future or else the site would still be running. I think online rambling should be taken with a grain of salt and “off the record” because the motivations behind the personas taken online are impossible to discern. What if you are just trying to procrastinate, or impress someone with your witty writing, or are only trying to flesh out ideas and are actually more comfortable or motivated to do so because it is a public forum? Should these feeble attempts at publication be held against you? I don’t think so, but I don’t think we’ve decided yet in our society whether these quasi-casual words should be held against anyone, the concept is too novel. And yet clearly they could be. So you are never fully underground when you are online and I admire people who know that and still write unabashedly. At the same time I also respect those who don’t. And I pity all the rest of us who are unsure and caught in the middle: compelled to write cautiously and afraid to do so.

-jd